The first session of combo chemo/radiation is done. Even better, no duct tape was required, none of the equipment in the treatment room was damaged, no radiologist were injured and I pretty much grinned through the whole thing. I had taken my full load of sedatives of course.
Tomorrow we play the whole thing out again. And each week day thereafter until we have done 39 of these....some time in February. But, tomorrow I am going to secretly chuck 1/4th of the sedatives into the woods and go in that much less doped up to see if I can take it. If it turns out I made a mistake and I cannot ultimately lay down for tomorrow's treatment, so be it. I just have to experiment so I can work away from so much sedation; it is horrible being so brain-dead.
And, like, what are they going to do? Fire me? Punish me and give me cancer? Beat me with a medical grade cotton swab? Or bill me for the wasted session. Hmmm, lets see how that pays out.
"Dennis, your total charges so far are $Gazillions. Now, because you obviously got a hairball caught between your meerkat size brain and your sedative bottle, we are going to have to charge you for that missed session $2,300. Really!? Yes. Is that with or without fries? Dennis, you do not seem to be taking this serious serious! Really?! Sigh...never mind. By the way, have you seen Darth Vader this morning? I need to check with him about adding some cool graphics on this plain looking mask you folks fab'ed for me. What the heck are people going to think if the Paparazzi get a shot of this and go public!? Oh, is it a problem for you if I screw on a little 1/4 wave 2m whip; it gets lonely in there while you boys are firing all those radiation death rays through my head, neck and upper chest."
Yes, yes...you are right. I am feeling pretty good having made it through this first day. I have been told that I will have one or two weeks where the treatment side effects will be very small. But, with total certainty, after that, its going to be very difficult, painful and trying. So! Today I chose to smile, be grateful, give you and me both a little laugh. We can cry, wring our hangs, shout Why Me, and crawl on all fours later. But, this is my pink cloud moment and I will damn well take it!