Here Comes the QRO Chemo Dosages
Doctor Q and I talked today about what will be the plan for Chemo Cycle Two. Because my blood work tells her my body did a reasonable job tolerating the chemo dosages giving in Chemo One, we are going to turn up the chemo dosage to the top limits. She will closely monitor me to see if I can, in fact, deal wiht the new limits. I have been told not to worry too much about it; instead just keep Doc Q's office staff informed of changes so they can bail me out of trouble if things go bad.
I am going to therefore, move forward with installing attractive seat beats here in the house that has been reserved exclusively for me....blush. I also ask the caregiver tream to pick up some upscale color coordinated knee pads and a comfortly padded ring to go around the top of the bowl.. Later today when nobody is home, I will begin screaming "Buick" at the top of my lungs over and over and over. By the time the new heighteded chemo levels are beng feed into me next week, I will have perfected the Buick call as well as the univerall accepted dry heaves plea for mercy, "Oh God, save me! Make me stop!"
Disabled Parking Pass.
Today the doctor's office completed a DMV document that will get me one of those close-in parking spots. I joke around about it now but down inside I know that they know that I am going to need that pass in not too many weeks.
TRUE ADVENTURE REQUIRES AN UNCERTAIN OUTCOME
October 28, 2010
I want my healing time ! !
It has been over a week now since we pulled the chemo pump connection to my body. That pump stuffed in its little annoying butt-bag tethered to me 24/7 proved to be big annoyance for me. I mean, like, who wants to sleep with someone you do not consider a romper room buddy
This is the important period of time between cycles where the body and mind are supposed to heal up as much as possible before the next tree. Instead of getting the vacation I need, I have a G Tube problem that has in nearly constant high level pain etc.
Here are some observations I noted after the last chemo infusion hardware was removed:
- The inner mouth and lips discomfort continued to develop and grow. Today my mouth feels like I took a raging hot cup of McDonalds coffee and drank it in one big slam. Once the inner mouth burn occurs, there is no turning back. Because of the chemotherapy, there are no longer any areas inside my mouth that my tongue can slide over and feel anything other than fine-grade sandpaper.
- My lips, on the other hand, feel like they been have roasted in the sun during an all day fishing trip. Red, hot to the touch, peeling and unhappy about any food or drink hoping to pass through this opening. Chap Stick offers some lip pain relief. Following “Motschenbacher logic” I find myself saying, “Basic clear color Chat Sticks works so good. I should go all the way and get some wild lipstick like, you know, Dirty Girl Savage Purple or other similar breakout flavor. The fact that would have to wear it 24 hours a day does give me pause. But not much. A troll-looking guy is a troll; with or with lipstick.
- The fatigue and nausea of the Dark Days continued straight line for a couple of days before dropping down.
- The bone pain played out just like the fatigue and nausea.
Port-A-Cathe
The chest Port-A-Cathe tube did its job just fine and was not a source of any discomfort. The ugly appearing scares from bleeding under the skin during the procedure that placed the Port-A-Cathe were still plenty ugly to see.
Stomach G - Tube
I was finally at a point where I could once again sleep flat instead of having to sit up. G Tube discomfort, thankfully, no longer set my quality of life.
I am type out this posting is morning with a full load of morphine onboard; something I did not expect again to have to do to control pain. The reason for the all pain I am having to deal with now goes back a couple weeks again when Doc D (who placed the G Tube) called my home and said see me. I figured that these guys know what they are doing so says he needs to see me, I better get over there. BIG mistake. BIG BIG mistake….
I was still pretty weak from the Dark Days so Lieska took me to his office and let me hobble alongside here. When Doc D came into my waiting room, he had be lay back and chatted thing a bit. Suddenly he started pushing, pulling and twisting his own hand hard into my already bruised and tender stomach. I was horrified and shocked at this and grabbed onto parts of the examine table for dear life. I say Lieska look up from her magazine to see why I was screaming through clenched teeth. I slammed my eyes shut again as the doc renewed his movement only to open them a moment later and see Lieska starting to lose color in her face as she stared at what was going on. The doctor noticed her situation as well and asked her if she was okay. I knew she was just seconds from passing out so I repeated told her to look away and that I would be okay. The doctor continued whatever the hell he was doing for maybe a minute more. By that time, I had sheen of sweat cover every inch of my body, snot running out of nose and enough pain tears to really piss me off.
Doc D’s explanation of what he was doing just didn’t make any sense at all. I had entered his office with a functional G tube and nearly all discomfort gone. Now I was told everything was okay and it would heal in two weeks. What the hell does that mean? My body was so shaken and blasted from this Doc D special mode of torture for reasons that remain a mystery to me.
Unfortunately, things did not get better; actually just the opposite. Doc D set me back a solid two weeks, if not more, in my healing from the 3 surgeries. Of course, as the days went by and the pain surrounding the G tube became worse and worse as my overall condition plummeted as well. So instead of doing some walking outside, focusing on some needed healing and getting ready for the Big Day in the recliner to kick off Chemo Cycle Two, I was mostly bedridden and in trouble.
I had no confidence or respect for Doc D at this point so going back to him was out of the question. I come from the school of that one should not invite someone who wrongs you to please go ahead again.
So we call Doctor Q, the doctor I selected to be the lead medical doctor call all the shots and is THE final word regarding my treatment. She fit me in today – awesome customer service. I told her the whole story about what Doc D had done…including the fact that I was already counting the days until when I would feel better and would my strength so I could go punch Doc D in the stomach with everything I had.
Doc Q could see herself how my condition had slipped backwards. Although not spoken I could clearly see and her PA exchange glances that said they no more understanding of what or why this mess had occurred than I did.
After some time to consider her next move, Doc Q laid the plan in her typical no nonsense way.
- She told me I could not hit the other Doc. I was laughing at that unit I saw in her eyes that she thought I was seriously planning on decking out. Hmmm only a few who closest to me will ever know the answer
- Immediately start on a power anti-biotic.
- Order up a CT Scan to see what can be seen with the situation inside the stomach. I dud the CT Scan this afteroon.
By the way, next weekend is the Trout Opener for the nearby lake I use for mental R&R. The Lake opens the day I have my Big Day in the recliner. I tried to sweet talk the doc and Nurse Mary into moving the schedule to allow me to drag my pathetic bones to the lake for a few hours. It was amazed how quickly they arived at the universally accepted female response to all such request, ham radio or fishing. No! And then the "Look". The "Look" immediately fired off my own male responce; something encoded in my DNA millions of years ago. "OH yea!? We'll see. Who made you my mommy? I can if I wanna!
Oops - Wedding anniversary forgotten
Wow, our wedding anniversary came and blew right by. There was midday quick mention of it on the 24th but no cards, cake, going out, friends over, etc. I would hate to think that I have discovered the ultimate excuse for forgetting a wedding anniversary. Getting cancer seems like a high price. However, memoirs of the special fun that comes boiling out from our wives for committing this sin the hit is about the same. Happy Anniversary to Lieska who has been so obsessed with take care of me while still working her job.
October 24, 2010
Cancer fight back on
Mom is thankfully doing very well. Miraculously, Tiffany got her to the ER during the buildup to the heart attack. The actual heart attack occurred while she was being attended by the entire Emergency Room staff of doctors, nurses and technicians because she was the only patient…one doesn’t see that much in an Emergency Room! Because of the unique circumstances, the doctors were able to immediately switch from monitoring/testing over to a procedure that placed a STENT in a 99% plugged artery they had discovered. Had the attack happened before she got there, they would have had to instead do open heart surgery and a bypass.
Dear ol’ Mom has some big changes to make in her lifestyle - none she is going to like one damn bit. Mom has been healthy as a horse all her life. Prior to this moment, she did not take any regular medications. I expect this transition to be a real bearcat brawl for her and the rest of us who might happen to be in the line of fire while explaining what needs to be done.
Nobody gets as bullhead as me without some genetic pass-through – mine came from this gal. The world better Kevlar-up during the struggle to help her get used to having to pop a few pills a day. 84 year old her would say, “That’s what old people do; not HER!”
She is trying to manipulate a doctor supported escape from the hospital today. I hope we can stop that from happening!
Daughter Tiffany who was a total ROCK during Chemo Cycle One and Mom’s heart attack flew home to Chicago yesterday. I will miss her a great deal…sigh. We are planning to bring her back during the combo chemo/radiation treatment period in January.
As Tiffany was in the air heading home to my grandson, my sister-in-law, Susie, was sitting on an Alaska Airlines flight from Anchorage to our local airport here. Whew! I have no idea how my wife Lieska and I would have taken care of Mom as we mentally prepare ourselves for the start of Chemo Cycle Two
I am coming up out of the Cycle One hole I have been in for awhile. New side affects keep appearing but nothing outside the predicted window of pain or discomfort. Yesterday was the beginning of the long battle to keep the inside of my mouth reasonably healthy during the coming months of treatments. White sores inside the mouth and burnt lips lead the new crud list. The chemo attacks fast growing cells and the mouth lining happens to fall in that category. Hair, finger nails and intestine linings are the other major areas with fast growing cells.
My weight dropped 5 lbs in Cycle One....a bit more than desired but no big trouble. My first blood lab work says the white cell kill-off was in the acceptable window. The hair should start falling out sometime next week. I just had my head buzzed down almost to the scalp so the falling out messy days will be a non-issue.
I'm still hobbling around like the Hunchback of Notre Dame because of what looks like a blood vessel blow-out in toe pad area of left foot. The jury is out if that was caused by the blood chemo hammering or what. One of the doctors will check it out next week.
And then we will start over again on November 4. The plan for Cycle Two is to have Lieska home for the full week starting with the kick-off 5-6 hour chemo infusion Big Day. Hopefully with Cycle One behind me leaving vivid memories for all of us, there will not be so much shock and alarm as I provide the daily creepy-factor entertainment around here for a week. I do not know hard Cycle One stresses hit Mom as she watched it unfold but I sure hope I can do Cycle Two without disturbing her peace of mind..
October 22, 2010
Mom had a heart attack early this morning
My mother had a heart attack about 3 o'clock this morning. My daughter took charge of her and rushed her to the nearby hospitial minutes away; the same one that has been my second home lately. Some hours later the doctors used a stent to open a seriously blocked artery. First observations suggest that while there was some damage to the heart, that damage was not extensive. For right now, I do not have time to have cancer. I am sure it is not going any place in the mean time....back soon.
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